Pain Is The Name Of Your Game
Our pain today fuels the strength we’ll feel tomorrow, as every challenge offers opportunity for growth. Therefore, pain is the name of your game.
During those wet and snowy winter months in rural upstate New York, while most of my classmates were smoking behind the school, trying out for the basketball team, or hanging at the mall, I was running the halls of my high school, wearing a rubberized sweat suit trying to cut several pounds of water weight before next wrestling match. Trying to motivate and inspire our ragtag wrestling team, Coach “Dutch” Sturdevant barked one-liners like, “pain builds character,” and, “short-term pain brings long-term gain.”
Sure, Coach Sturdevant’s decrees had lots to do with pushing our bodies to the limit, hitting the weight room, and doing wind sprints. But, the subtlety, substance and power of his messages didn’t hit me until reconnecting with Coach during a hometown trip more than thirty years later. I now recognize they had less to do with sneaking bowls of ice cream before bed, and much more to do with reaching towards our fullest potential, living with authenticity, and embracing integrity—that magic place where our behaviors match our values.
Since authenticity and genuine leadership rarely intersect anymore, it’s often difficult to identify that single role model who excites and inspires us towards greatness. So, left to our own insecurities, we become more concerned about avoiding difficult conversations and painful situations than we are about making the tough decision and doing the right thing. We become weak and morally bankrupt; and we rationalize. In an attempt to secure that big contract, gain the promotion, or advance our own agenda, we embellish the facts, shade the truth, and lie. “After all, if others really knew the truth about me, they’d run the other way,” right? Wrong!
Why Pain is the name of your game
The truth is, facts can be finagled, but authenticity can’t be faked. It’s the alignment of head and heart; thinking and saying; feeling and doing; that others find most attractive about us. Although it’s usually the most challenging and painful seasons in life that ignite our spark for authenticity and transparency; the journey frequently leads to our most significant season of joy, freedom and connectedness. Authenticity builds trust, and followers love leaders they trust.
If we truly do become the average of the people we hang out with the most, shouldn’t we surround ourselves with people who are willing to choose the hard right over the easy wrong? It’s not too late! I’m convinced now, that growing in the areas of authenticity, transparency and integrity is like exercising any muscle. It may be painful to push the pile of weights the first time in the gym, but with dedication and small incremental improvement, we can, over time, move the stack with less stress and strain.
Thanks for the reminder Coach, that “pain is weakness leaving our body.”
